'My name is Daniel Pleasant. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 49 days old; in less than a day I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already.'
Episode 8: Simerican Beauty
Chapter One:
Home, Sweet Battlefield
Lilith wasn't going to let anyone else have Dustin. He had been flirting with a girl named Tosha Go from school, but Lilith decided she could solve the problem simply by beating her up, too.
Daniel grew concerned, so he had a talk with his troubled daughter.
'I didn't raise you to be a no-good punk!', he yelled, 'apologize to your sister.'
'I ain't!' she sang, 'I'm unapologetic! I'se be miss-behavin', watchaw gawna do?'
'That's it!' he bellowed, 'you are grounded, young lady!'
'You think you can hold me down? I do what I want!'
And so, later that night, Lilith snuck into Angela's bedroom to use her computer, and sent an e-mail to Dustin.
can u pik me up @ lyk 12 lolz?
cyu then babe lolz
And so, at midnight, Lilith snuck out to meet Dustin, who was driving a hotwired car.
'Get in, babe,' Dustin said, 'let's blow this lame-ass joint.'
But before they made it even halfway across the street, Dustin was arrested for driving under the influence of nectar without a licence, and Lilith was brought back home by the Pleasantview Police.
'Pigs can't hold me down!' Lilith proclaimed, 'Ain't none of ya'll not got nuttin' on me. How long can ya last, pa? Too fast fo' ya? I'll outlast ya!'
'I don't know, Lilith,' Daniel said, and he walked off. He would give his soul for a glass of nectar himself, but he wasn't drinking anymore.
He went over to the kitchen and shoved some poptarts in the oven, but he forgot all about it, and let it burn. The kitchen caught on fire, but luckily, Angela was there to put it out.
Daniel really wanted that glass of nectar now.
Daniel really wanted that glass of nectar now.
Chapter Two:
The Burbs
Daniel needed to talk with his wife. He thought that she should spend a bit more time with Lilith, as she might be able to talk some sense into her.
But Mary-Sue was most often preoccupied with the computer, talking with Daniel's brother in-law, John Burb over the simternet. She and John were working on a campaign opposing Mortimer's government, and John would be moving into Pleasantview with his family.
When John and Jennifer Burb arrived in Pleasantview, Mary-Sue and Daniel agreed to help them unpack. After all, Daniel was looking for any excuse to get out of the house. They also arranged a brunch at the Burb's new house on the day of their daughter Lucy's birthday party, so they could get together and catch up.
The occasion was all planned out, but at the last minute, Mary-Sue informed them she couldn't go, because she was "buried in paperwork", so Daniel had to go by himself.
The get together went reasonably well, although Daniel did feel a bit uncomfortable. There were a few strange things about the Burb household. First of all, Lucy's room had invisible walls, which was rather creepy. Secondly, there was a plate of toasted cheese sandwiches lying on the floor, which was a bit strange. Somebody could step on them. Thirdly, Jennifer was in her underpants at the dinner table, which may have been some weird Burb tradition, but he didn't ask. He thought his sister would at least have the decency to wear pants when inviting a guest around for brunch. Maybe she thought it didn't matter with family members.
John started takling about ways to make money, and Daniel had a hard time being interested in this conversation, because he had plenty of money, although he heard the Burbs were struggling financially.
Daniel decided to ask Burb what his campaign was all about: John and Mary-Sue were working together to strip Mortimer Goth of his mayoral power, because they believed Mortimer was trying to shut Pleasantview off from the rest of SimNation, and they needed to modernize quickly:
'Everyone else is playing Sims 3,' John said, 'and Sims 4 is coming up soon, and here we are, on Sims 2.'
Daniel hadn't the slightest idea what the hell John was talking about, and he was quite anxious to get away from the house without offending his sister.
City life sure had a way of turning people bonkers.
Home Alone
When Daniel got back, Mary-Sue had just arrived home, but was getting ready to leave again. Daniel wanted to talk to her.
'Can't talk,' she muttered 'too much to do.'
Daniel thought that was a bit ironic, considering that she was just standing still, gazing out the window. He didn't bother to ask what was going on, he just said 'good luck at the office today, honey,' before she headed towards the door.
'Daniel,' she said, stopping, 'I need you to do something for me.'
'What is that?' he responded.
'I need you to clean the house today. I won't have the time, myself.'
'Sure thing,' Daniel said. And he waved his wife goodbye.
*
Daniel didn't really feel like cleaning the house. He was no good at it, and he needed sleep after that strange get together with the Burbs. He decided to pick up the phone and dial the housekeeping service.
'Welcome to Sexy Sims Sanitation Service,' a smooth female voice answered, 'please select from our wide range of qualified cleaning professionals. Would you like a male, or a female?'
'Uhh... female' said Daniel, unsure he got the right number.
'Select preferred hair color - blonde, brunette, or redhead?'
'Ummm... Brunette?'
'Very well. Your personally chosen maid will be over to your house in 30 minutes.'
'Wait, you haven't got my addre-'
'Goodbye,'
And the phone hung up. He started running a shower when the door knocked. He answered it, and a maid came in.
'My name's Kaylynn, at your service,' the lady said. 'What a big house you have, it's gonna take me ages to clean it all!'
And so, Kaylynn spent the rest of the day carefully cleaning the entire house, with Daniel lounging about. He had a huge list of things he had meant to do today, but with the arrival of Kaylynn they had all suddenly slipped his mind.
Days later, Daniel had work, and everyone else was out. Mary-Sue had asked him to clean the house, since he had done such a great job last time. Daniel picked up t he phone, and asked for Kaylynn again. But this time, Daniel was waiting for her, in his bedroom....
And so it became a habit, with the family none the wiser, because as far as the rest of the family were concerned, what happened at home was of nobody's concern...
But then something horrific happened that would change Daniel's life forever...
The Bald Truth
Daniel started going bald, and with it, his whole life had changed forever. When he looked into the mirror, all he saw was his father - his father who had never accomplished his dream of visiting mars... Was he and Jennifer responsible for that? Was it they who had held him back?
Would he end up just like Jeff, his life unfulfilled; his dreams floating away like the hair in his head?
His father had told him to accomplish his dreams. He was now assistant coach to the Sim State Llamas, but what was it all for? A house so big he needs an attractive maid to clean it, two girls who think he's an ogre because of the nasty boys they date; and a wife who never has any time for him. What would Dad have done, if he was in this position?
Daniel wasn't going to let his body fade away, old and useless, like his hair. If his family wasn't going to love him, he would find someone who would.
He had the maid, and nobody knew about her. How many more girls could Daniel sneak in under his coat!?
And so, Daniel had found a new lease on life. He would follow, and improve upon, the teachings of Don Lothario. No girl was safe now that Daniel was on the prowl.
Thus, the midlife crisis of Daniel Pleasant has prematurely begun. Driven by the guilt of his father's death, and the alienation from his divided family, Pleasantview is Daniel's oyster. Sure to cause even more friction in the family, what will become of its scattered fragments? Find out in future episodes of the History of Pleasantview!
No comments:
Post a Comment